Ian!

A series of short, hilarious stories starring Ian, Marcus, Laura and just about everyone from Final Destination 3!

If this was a comic strip, Ian and Erin would use thought bubbles while everyone else actually speaks.

Settings-
*The Cliff- A number of things can happen here, including Ian kicking or pushing Marcus off the cliff.
*School- Usually where Erin makes her appearances, what happens here can range from a food fight in the cafeteria to a simple chat in the hallways.
*Carriage House- This rather unique house defies the laws of physics for comic effect.
*Eda's Diner- Usually Marcus is shown taking a girl out here and getting rejected (To which Ian laughes).
*Build It- Another common sight area of Erin, usually scenes here involve a picky customer or a defective tool.
*Bathroom- The sight of the Talking Bathroom Scale, Ian usually breaks it in some way, ranging from dropping it on the ground to dropping a grand piano on it.

Here's some comics on the Cliff-
Ian: I owe Marcus an apology.
(Ian kicks Marcus off the cliff)
Ian: Now I owe him two.

Marcus: Go ahead and kick me off the cliff Ian.
Ian: Oh, no I don't want you to let me kick me off the cliff.
(Marcus turns around. Ian kicks Marcus off the cliff)
Ian: NOW I'll kick you off!

Ian: I take no pleasure in kicking Marcus off the cliff.
(Ian kicks Marcus off the cliff)
Ian: I do, however, enjoy watching him swipe at the air on the way down.

Ian: Here we are, overlooking a 100-foot high cliff.
(Ian elbows Marcus off the cliff)
Ian: He breaks more bones that way.

(Ian is running to the edge of the cliff with a big grin on his face)
Ian: It's 'Kick-Marcus-Off-The-Cliff' Day!
(Ian kicks Marcus off the cliff)
Ian: Which some cultures call 'Sunday'.

(Ian is looking down over the edge of the cliff)
Ian: Now where could Marcus be? He's always here.
(Marcus shows up and kicks Ian off the cliff)
Ian: Hey! I'm supposed to be kicking you off the cliff! Not the other way around!

Ian: Life is a struggle between good and evil.
Marcus: I CAN SEE ALL!!!!!
Ian: Should I kick Marcus off the cliff?
Marcus: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!!!!!
Ian: ... Or sorta accidently push him off?


School-

Student: Food fight!
Ian: Oh, no. I'm getting out of-
(Ian gets hit with something. Erin was the culprit)
Ian: The only reason why I'm not hitting you back is because you're my girlfriend.
Erin: If that's the case...
(Erin slams Ian's head into the dessert)
Ian: When my bones knit you are dead.

(Erin is walking down a hallway)
Erin: Ian is poetry in motion.
(Marcus runs by and trips over. Ian comes out of a room)
Ian: While Marcus is gibberish in neutral.
Marcus: I'm in pain! But I'm dating Ashlyn!
Ian: By the way, the art teacher needs some new glue.
Marcus: I can't get up! I'm stuck!
(Erin glares at Ian. Ian gives the readers a big grin)

Carriage House-

Mr. McKinley: Ian, your morning breath is awful!
Ian: You're telling me. My teeth melted.

Ian: Here's a gift for you Marcus.
Marcus: Thank you!
Ian: Now don't open it until I am 100 miles away.

Ian: I hate Mondays. I hate mornings. I hate Septembers.
(Laura slams the windowstill down on Ian's fingers)
Ian: And I really hate having my sister slam the window down on my fingers.

Laura: This is from the 'Pudding of the Month Club'. Nobody remembers joining any club. Ian?
Ian: Dibs on the butterscotch!

Mr. McKinley: Ian, your toliet is overflooding!!
(Marcus runs by)
Ian: Marcus' cup runneth over.

(Ian, Erin and Marcus are watching T.V.)
TV: Today's a beautiful day at the stadium...
Erin: This better be a good channel Marcus.
TV: For the world drinking-out-of-the-toliet championship!
(Several idiotic men are drinking out of toliets)
Ian: Never let your idiot twin who drinks out of the toliet decide what you watch with your girlfriend.

Eda's Diner-

Ian: (In disguise as a chef; The hat covers his eyes) The plate is hot, mosiour.
Marcus: Thanks, shorty. AHHH!! The plate is hot!! The food's going down my shirt!! Hot! Hot!! HOT!!!!
(Marcus starts jumping around wildly while Ashlyn has a 'My god...' face on)
Ian: I'll drive you home.

Anyone can contribute.

I LOVE. Adorable. Can we use our own little characters???


This reminds me of the "Outtakes" topic on RINGS..XD

DantilAshford wrote:

I LOVE. Adorable. Can we use our own little characters???


This reminds me of the "Outtakes" topic on RINGS..XD

Yep! the more the merrier!

A friend on dA was kind enough to do this- http://ride6.deviantart.com/art/Eddielawrence3-request-ian-72593283

(Ian is weighing himself in the bathroom. The scale reigsters 127 pounds)
Bathroom Scale: You're fat.
(Ian gets off the scale and puts only his finger on it)
Bathroom Scale: Your finger is fat too.
(Ian rips out a singe strand of hair and puts it on the scale)
Bathroom Scale: Even your hair is fat.
Ian: Gimme a break or I'll break you in half.

Here's some real funny ones-

Ian: Impressions.
(Ian sits down on the couch and outs a blanket on his head)
Ian: Mona Lisa.

Ian: Impression #2.
(Ian gives us this big smile and stuffs his head into his shirt)
Ian: A turtle!

Marcus: Hey Ian, do you like, know any more impressions?
(Ian ruffles his hair and puts a stupid face on)
Ian: Marcus M. McKinley.
(Marcus looks unamused)

Erin: Now what are you doing Ian?
(Ian has a tacky grin on and wears a bow tie)
Ian: Sleezy game show host.

Laura: Can't you do something new Ian?
Ian: Well...
(Ian puts a lampshade on his head)
Ian: Crazy partier.

Marcus: What on Earth-
Ian: Moth on a windshield!
Erin: Ian, this is beginning to-
Ian: Cheerleader!
Laura: Ian, we're sick of your stupid impressions!
Ian: Okay then, let's listen to the RADIO.

(Mr. McKinley is having lunch and doesn't see Ian get close to his water)
Ian: A motor boat.
(Do I need to explain what Ian did?)
Mr. McKinley: IAN!!!!!!!!!!
(Ian has this great 'Oh shit' face on)

Mr. McKinley: Ian, can't you do something other than impressions?
Ian: Well...
(Ian walks off as Mr. McKinley takes a slip of his coffee. Ian reenters with a few banana peels, including some on his body)
Ian: Yes, it is I, Banana Man!
(Mr. McKinley tries to avoid spitting out his coffee)

Erin: Please tell me you have a better routine Ian.
Ian: It is I, Banana Man! Here to bring humor to the world! Spread a few peels around...
(Ian drops a few peels around. Marcus passes by and trips on every one)
Ian: And volia! Instant fun!

OMG I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE. So funny. XD Ian's quite the comedian.


Darn, I'm trying to remember the one I did for RINGS...The "EEAHN MAD AT MEEEZZ" one..XD

DantilAshford wrote:

OMG I LOVE IT. LOVE LOVE LOVE. So funny. XD Ian's quite the comedian.


Darn, I'm trying to remember the one I did for RINGS...The "EEAHN MAD AT MEEEZZ" one..XD

Thanks. You (And everyone who comes to this topic) can contribute.

All I've got is:

Serena: BLAIR-BEARRR!
Blair: What??
Serena: Did you see the new kid?! It's HORRIBLE!
Blair: Is he hideous?
Serena: NO! That's the POINT!!! PLUS! He can wear tighter pants than US!!!
Blair: YOU LIE.
Serena: NO. I DON'T.
Ian: *ears ring*...?


Myself and my friends always make jokes about hating to love really good looking guys with tighter pants than us. XD And how they can pull it off.

DantilAshford wrote:

All I've got is:

Serena: BLAIR-BEARRR!
Blair: What??
Serena: Did you see the new kid?! It's HORRIBLE!
Blair: Is he hideous?
Serena: NO! That's the POINT!!! PLUS! He can wear tighter pants than US!!!
Blair: YOU LIE.
Serena: NO. I DON'T.
Ian: *ears ring*...?


Myself and my friends always make jokes about hating to love really good looking guys with tighter pants than us. XD And how they can pull it off.

Hehe my friends and I make jokes aganist preppy kids. Oh, and I made a comic that also pokes fun of the fact that our little Zippy-boy is a twig-

Mr. McKinley: Ian, you need to take better care of yourself.
Ian: I do! This body is a temple!
(There is an awkward silence)
Ian: ... With a limit of 40 people.

XD Omg.
Please tell me one of the minis is "Conceited Ian"..xDDD~

Ian: CRAWWWWWWWWWLING INNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, THESE WOOOOOOUNDDDS WONNNN'T SEEEEEM TO HEEEEEEAAAAALLL~
Rest of FD Cast: Shut up, will you, just SHUT UP!!!


^ In joke from a flash thing my friend showed me, but that doesn't make having an "Emo Ian" joke or two to crack any less funny..xD

DantilAshford wrote:

XD Omg.
Please tell me one of the minis is "Conceited Ian"..xDDD~

Ian: CRAWWWWWWWWWLING INNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, THESE WOOOOOOUNDDDS WONNNN'T SEEEEEM TO HEEEEEEAAAAALLL~
Rest of FD Cast: Shut up, will you, just SHUT UP!!!


^ In joke from a flash thing my friend showed me, but that doesn't make having an "Emo Ian" joke or two to crack any less funny..xD

Maybe. But you will LOVE the meatloaf gag.

Meatloaf...? XD Can't wait.

DantilAshford wrote:

Meatloaf...? XD Can't wait.

It's basicly this: Ethan buys a very poweful vacuum off e-Bay (There's a joke that you will only get if you ever played Luigi's Mansion) and accidently sucks up some meatloaf in the cafeteria. Basically if he sucks up anyone they'll make some sort of comment about the meatloaf.

Also keep an eye out for the 'Ethan gets his head stuck in the vacuum' gag, the 'buttons with insults' gag, the 'Ian, did you do something with your hair' gag, and the 'Logan can't figure out what her brother's saying' gag.

xDD!! I love that game. It was the first thing I bought for my old GameCube.

DantilAshford wrote:

xDD!! I love that game. It was the first thing I bought for my old GameCube.

I love that game too, and it was the second I bought for my GamCube (The first was Melee... And I found a Kris equilvalent, Roy).

The gag is: The guy who sold the vacuum to Ethan was Luigi Mario. But you'd probally get it.

I posted the next chapter in the 'Story-thing! =D' forum... You'll be laughing your butt off after you read it.

Roy=Kris? Hm, how so? [I haven't played in FOREVER] Just outta curiosity! =o
Haha, alright, I'll go read it now.

DantilAshford wrote:

Roy=Kris? Hm, how so? [I haven't played in FOREVER] Just outta curiosity! =o
Haha, alright, I'll go read it now.

Well... Both are short, and they sound similar (If I made the English version, I would get Kris to voice Roy in the translations instead of leaving it in Japanese).

Hm, you have a good point. =o Even tho' I always played as Marth when it came to chosing out of the two of 'em..XP

DantilAshford wrote:

Hm, you have a good point. =o Even tho' I always played as Marth when it came to chosing out of the two of 'em..XP

The funny part is that I thought Marth was a girl the first time I battled him (XD I was Pikachu when I unlocked him)

Haha, that's cute. =p

Annnyways, sort of on-topic...Ian as a gamer? What do you think?? o.o

DantilAshford wrote:

Haha, that's cute. =p

Annnyways, sort of on-topic...Ian as a gamer? What do you think?? o.o

It sounds very interesting.

xP I wonder what kind of games he'd play. Survival horror, maybe??

DantilAshford wrote:

xP I wonder what kind of games he'd play. Survival horror, maybe??

Probally.

Yeah. Wonder what games themselves...Any suggestions..? XD

DantilAshford wrote:

Yeah. Wonder what games themselves...Any suggestions..? XD

A Halo game, maybe? Or Bioshock?

Ooh. Excellent choices. Bioshock is sticking with me there. XP